Multiple random tales
by Flying Sparrow
Summary: Just whatever comes into my head. Varying sizes, the result of someone having far too much time on they're hands! Ficlet 1: the problem with the Royal Navy. It's only really under humor because i find weird things funny.
1. The commodore

Disclaimer : (Beating off laywers with a stick) No! Not mine!

A.N. Just some random snippets of tales that I may or may not elaborate on, I want to know what you think!

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"Hey" said Will.

"Yeah" said Jack.

"You know you said that the Royal Navy are all eunuchs?"

"Yeah"

"Well, you were right"

"What?"

"It's one of the reasons Elizabeth didn't want to marry Norrington."

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A.N. There you go. Now, review!


	2. Smelly breath

Disclaimer: Still not mine!

A.N. I know I haven't updated any worthwhile fics, but I'm suffering from author's block. It was all just bad writing. And you know what we do with bad writing! Lizswann, Princesslegleaf, Mrs Barton, HELP ME!

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Jack licked his wrist and then sniffed it "aye", he said "smells good".

Will looked on, baffled, saying " Jack, yer breath smells like rum."

Jack looked at him, eyes glinting "aye, it smells o' rum, and rum is good, savvy?"

Will gave up. "Savvy".

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A.N. Argh! It's awful! Rubbish! More bad writing. I really don't know where this came from. Chicoooooooooooooo……………………


	3. Just Jack

Disclaimer: If this was mine, why would I bother writing this? I would just put in the movie, which I would speed up, so that it comes out before summer 2006! (at least, I think that's in the U.K.) Also, I don't think anybody could own Jack. He's to free, like a birdy, up in the sky……………….

A.N: I really hate Christmas! It leaves you with no spare time whatsoever! None! Nada! Also, I hate it when little sisters always want the computer (although that is the only time I get around to typing this up)! But enough of my moaning. This fic is kinda my insight into Jack, how he feel's and why he behaves like he does. But you'll probably think It's nonsense, coz my mind comes up with the weirdest things.

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Jack's speciality was to play the drunken idiot. Sometimes he took it further, into the realms of plain madness. He found people were more open around people they thought were drunk or mad. Especially if you got them drunk first. He would match them drink for drink, of course, so that they wouldn't suspect anything (some pirates could have surprisingly sharp minds), but he had a very high drinking limit and could drink most people under the table (although it was awful for his liver). Then, still acting the fool, he would extract any information he needed from their addled brains, occasionally using complicated questions or arguments, and depart, back to his cabin on the Pearl. It tended to work well, though he did end up looking like he had a fish up his arse when he walked. Side effect of being insane, he supposed.

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A.N: Thank you, thank you very much. Uh huh, uh huh. Anyway, please review, even just to tell me that that was awful.


	4. Jack and Ana

Disclaimer: See chapter's 1, 2, and 3.

A.n: Ummmm, this is probably being posted around the same time as chapter 3, so I don't really having anything else to say. Other than that this is one of the first things I wrote for myself when I first found and started reading, so please be gentle. It's more fluffy than anything, so don't expect a lot of laugh's (not that any of the others have been funny, just weird).

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Ana leant forward. "I love ye, Jack Sparrow."

Jack opened his mouth, a smirk playing on his lips. " I love ye too, Ana."

The pair kissed, and after what seemed like an eternity, pulled back. Jack stood up, strode towards the door of his cabin, and grinned. He turned around to face Anamaria. "That's Captain Jack Sparrow luv." And with that, he was gone.

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A.N: Just to clear things up, they're in Jacks cabin, and Ana leaned over the table. Now please, review! (Not that I beg or anything) ;-)


	5. Independance

Disclaimer: Still not miney!

A.N: These aren't really even drabble's, they're far too short. They're more paragraphs, anecdotes, snippets etc. You get the picture. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

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Total Independence. That was what Jack wanted. Independence was freedom. And the Black Pearl was freedom. That was what he'd told Elizabeth. So really, he had total independence, total freedom, total happiness.

So why was there a gap still left to be filled?

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A.N: No comment. Just, ewwwwwwwwww.


	6. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Pirates Of The Caribbean. Damn!

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In his heart of hearts, the Commodore didn't really want to punish Elizabeth. But she had made her bed, and now, as was the law, she must lie in it.

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A.N: This is imagining that Elizabeth and Will had joined Jack on the Pearl. It's probably the shortest I've written, but if I don't write these things down I forget about them.


End file.
